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A person born into the tribe of Cancer naturally blends strength with vulnerability, and electricity with magnetism. This alchemy makes her wholly attractive. Here are four reasons why you may be irresistibly pulled into Cancer’s orbit:
1. Feeding Your Appetite
No doubt you’ve heard that Cancer is a home-making, muffin-baking sign that will do anything to take care of you. There is some truth to this somewhat over-used generalization. The sign of Cancer resonates with the 4th house of home and family. In this realm of life we deal with our basic needs of survival. Is there anything more primal than being with someone who wants to ensure that your needs are met? Are you hungry? Too hot, too cold? Do you need to vent about your day? Your Cancer lover will do what he can to attend to you, body, mind and soul. His instinct to nurture is unparalleled in the zodiac.
When you’re with a Cancer your needs become entwined with his. This is a water sign, after all. Boundaries are fluid–and teasing out whose feelings or needs are whose can be one of Cancer’s greatest challenges. Perhaps this is why he feels such a strong drive to ensure your physical and emotional comfort; it’s also a way of attending to his own, by proxy. Know that your feelings, your needs, and your weaknesses as you perceive them, are all safe in the comforting hearth that Cancer provides through his incredibly caring energy.
One catch is that Cancer can take this caretaking role to extreme dimensions, occasionally losing sight of the fact that you are a sovereign individual who must assume self-responsibility or risk becoming infantilized. Self-responsibility. These words create within Cancer mixed feelings. His major focus on you can distract him from taking care of himself. There’s a secret desire for him to be taken care of too, you see.
Why is he so reluctant to tell you this? Cancer’s totem is the Crab. Notice the path that a crab takes: it’s a zig-zagging, which-way-you-going route. Are you ok? Cuz I’m not sure I am is the unspoken other side of the question. And this is why Cancer has developed a bit of a rep for being passive-aggressive. He’s given himself permission to attend to others, but he must also learn that caring for himself does not make him selfish.
He knows this intellectually, of course, but Cancer doesn’t dwell in his intellect. If you fall for him, you will be wise to take turns assuming the role of nurturer. Over time this can become a sacred balance between you.
2. In Tune With You
Sometimes we can barely put our feelings into words, so complex–perhaps even dangerous or taboo–they can be. Cancer doesn’t need words or labels to understand you. She sees you; she feels you; she gets you. Your mere presence is enough for her to do this. Tuning into the state of the emotional body is akin to tuning into the news or weather report for her.
Owing partly to the water element that Cancer lives in, and partly due to the influence of her ruling planet, the Moon, she is highly sensitive to the workings of the emotional body, to the fluctuation of feelings, and to the energy of her environment. This combination of water and lunar energy makes Cancer a psychic sponge. She picks up on what you’re feeling so easily that you may think she’s reading your mind. She is, in actuality, reading your energy. There’s nothing mystical or otherworldly about this–she’ll tell you so herself. It’s just that Cancer needs no convincing that feelings offer vital information. They tell her how to proceed.
By consciously acknowledging her own feelings, for instance, Cancer is able to assess how aligned (or misaligned) she is with her core self. Feelings with a strong charge tell her that she will need to actively shift her mood in order to raise her vibration. Once Cancer masters this life lesson, she becomes even more proficient at assessing your mood, and assisting you to either maintain that mood or change it, if need be.
3. Emotional Intelligence
With such an enormous emphasis on nurturing and feeling states, it would be all too easy to assume that the Cancer lover is a pushover, or a passive mess of overly protective instincts. Surely he must be a wet blanket. Don’t be mistaken. This lunar lad has a special magic that allows him to go with the flow and, if need be, change the flow. He possesses cardinal energy that compels him to be as active as he is passive.
Consider also that Cancer’s ruler, the Moon, has a twenty-nine day orbit around Earth. It is the fastest moving body in our solar system. The rapidity of the Moon’s journey through the zodiac symbolizes quick changes in state. Feelings are essential barometric measurements, yes, but Cancer does not stay stuck in one feeling for too long. At the very least, he will eventually master this lesson.
If there is one place where Cancer may be accused of dwelling too long, or investing too much energy, it’s the past. The Moon–as representative of our conditioned responses to triggers (both positive and negative)–is strongly tied to the past. Cancer feels a place of deep resonance with ancestors, both dead and alive–and so her perspective may unconsciously default to times in the past, especially if there is a charged event he must still resolve.
Yet, through his efforts to toggle between now and then, Cancer has enormous capacity to discern between which feelings are relevant now, versus which can be released. And when he does figure this out, he will model for you how to change your state. Because, chances are he’s going to master his emotions before you even recognize there’s an evolutionary need for all humans to do so.
4. Cancer/Moon in Your Chart
If you fall for Cancer, it will help to have enough gravity to keep you in each other’s orbital field. Here are some markers in your natal chart that will reflect a strong pull between you:
- Cancer on the 7th House Cusp, Moon in the 7th House, 7th House Ruler in hard aspect to Moon: If you were born with Capricorn Rising, your house of committed partnership has Cancer on the cusp. You ideally connect with people who have one foot in the past, who are connected to hearth and home, and who know when to act. If you were born with the Moon in this house, you understand the connection between sharing feelings and fortifying your bond. If the ruler of your 7th House makes a dynamic angle to the Moon, part of your challenge is to find the appropriate times and ways to express your feelings–and being with a Cancer can certainly help you in this quest.
- Venus or Mars in the 4th House, or in hard aspect to Moon: If either of the cosmic lovers are situated in your 4th House, you invest a great deal of personal energy into your home life. This resonates beautifully with Cancer. Should either of these planets be at right angles to or opposed to the Moon in your chart, you’re working out the balancing act and potential triggers in your family or living situation. No wonder you feel such an affinity for Cancer. This is her domain, and she has the medicine you seek.
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