Using Your Venus to Attract Partners

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Everyone has Venus in their charts, and everyone can use her to attract romantic attention. This is true whether you’re gay or straight, male or female. But problems arise when you get caught up in the Shadow side of your Venus, and distort her energy.  Read on for a brief overview of how to maximize natal Venus in each sign, and what sign-specific traps to avoid. Keep in mind that Venus’ house placement, and aspects to natal planets, will also have an influence.

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Venus in Aries

Gifts: passionate aggression. Making the first move looks good on you, as does immediately asserting your preferences. You’re a natural competitor, so rivalry brings out your sexual edge.

Shadow: stomping over the line between assertive and pushy. You can miss social cues, and bully people into doing what you want.

Venus in Taurus

Gifts: intense sensuality. You can sit there and just be, and others are drawn in. Calm self-possession makes you confident, yet approachable. People sense that you’re ripe with good things, but you’re not giving it away to everyone (you wait for the right person).

Shadow: unbending stubbornness. The certainty that no one (except you) has a clue about how to love can isolate you. Possessiveness can strangle existing attraction.

Venus in Gemini

Gifts: social sparkle. You’ve got twenty different things on the go, yet you’re tuned in to what’s new. People want to catch up with you as you flit from this topic to that person. You’re interested in everyone (for a moment) but not quite available.

Shadow: light-hearted charm souring into manic instability. The ADD vibe can wear thin when you don’t sit still long enough to listen to the object of your affection. The involuntary tic of constant flirting can erode trust.

Venus in Cancer

Gifts: empathy that makes comfort feel sexy. You’re a mix of vulnerable and caring, tuned into what the other person needs, while needing a hug for yourself. You can be everyone’s mother, and those who want to be nurtured will be drawn in.

Shadow: vulnerability nosediving into neediness. Also, the unspoken rule that your unasked-for nurturing means the recipient must return the favor.

Venus in Leo

Gifts: showing off, and making it appealing. Your pride stems from the core certainty that you’re special, so when you flaunt it, others respond. When you come from that place of natural confidence, you radiate generosity and sex appeal; everyone is drawn to your heat.

Shadow: demanding that others treat you well. When you doubt yourself, you chase attention, which goes against who you are.

Venus in Virgo

Gifts: class and gentle self-depreciation. You can attract without (visibly) trying, although no one sees the endless fine-tuning that goes into your image. Reserved politeness, mixed with a willingness to help, make you the embodiment of those high standards you work to maintain.

Shadow: self-criticism and punishment. You can lose site of your natural perfection when you listen to the little voice that whispers you’ll never be good enough. Then, you attract those who treat you the way you see yourself. Also, not everyone appreciates your nagging powers of observation.

Venus in Libra

Gifts: natural grace, and the ability to make each person feel special. You instinctively mirror what others want. People are drawn to your disarming mix of socially correct charm and the slight suggestion that there’s something improper beneath the surface.

Shadow: throwing yourself at the one you want. You don’t need to chase, but when you’re feeling less than confident, you try way too hard. You do have needs and opinions of your own, but your hesitation to assert them can make you appear to be nothing more than a candy-colored shell.

Venus in Scorpio

Gifts: dark magnetism. You walk into a room, and your intensity draws people over. You don’t take anyone (including yourself) lightly, and others want more of that all-consuming passion. When you honor your courage to love without limits, others want to lose themselves in you.

Shadow: intensity putrefying into suspicion, jealousy and obsession. When you try to control others, your power is distorted. You don’t have to pursue, control or manipulate people. No one is indifferent to you, so they’ll either want you, or want to stay away from you.

Venus in Sagittarius

Gifts: unpretentious charm, and an anything-goes sexual vibe. You’re fun, friendly with everyone, and relaxed. Who wouldn’t want to be around you?

Shadow: carelessness with others’ feelings. Your legendary sense of humor can rub some people the wrong way, as you gallop forward with cheerful obliviousness. Also, your desire for constant exploration is a problem when you ignore your commitments.

Venus in Capricorn

Gifts: cool, focused demeanor. You make business seem sexy, because you know exactly what you want. Even if you (occasionally) make the first move, you never, ever seem desperate.

Shadow: control calcified into fear that shuts everyone out. Your focus can become a rigid insistence on rules, and external status can trump feelings.

Venus in Aquarius

Gifts: no one does it like you do. “It” varies widely, because each Aquarian is unique. But there’s something that you love, that sets you apart from everyone else, and this is what will attract people to you. Your friendly detachment means that you’re open to almost anyone, but not exclusive to anyone. Of course you’re capable of commitment, but it has to be your way.

Shadow: becoming so detached that you bitterly observe humanity from the sidelines. Relationships become traps, where you’re forced into compromise. Even you can’t completely avoid all compromise, although that’s your secret fantasy.

Venus in Pisces

Gifts: the intriguing promise that you could be anything to anyone. Others project their fantasies onto you. Your wistful vibe suggests that you’re not quite in this reality, and people are intrigued. When you focus your energy on activities that energize rather than drain you, you attract healthy partners.

Shadow: becoming the victim who is bled dry by life. Also, attempting to escape reality through addictive substances or imaginary relationships. It’s easy to lose yourself, but the trick is finding yourself through an empowering purpose.

Related:  When Venus Hides Her Face: Venus Retrograde in the Natal Chart

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