Wednesday 8 June 2016

When You Meet Your Chart in Other People


Did you know that can see your natal qualities in people you’re attracted to?  All energy in the chart is expressed. If you don’t own that energy, someone else will express it for you. This is not a bad thing, and is unavoidable in some cases. But problems arise when you encounter distorted versions of your natal chart. You’ll know this is the case if you consistently attract men/women who share the same characteristic that is troublesome for you. It’s not something you look for, and yet, there it is with each partner. When this happens, it’s a golden opportunity to learn about yourself.

7th House

The sign on the 7th House cusp, or planets in the 7th House, are often projected onto partners as desirable qualities. For example, you have Virgo on the 7th House cusp, and are attracted to nerdy intellectuals. The distorted version of this might look like partners who are highly critical of you. Or, you have Saturn in the 7th House, and you’re attracted to partners who have authority. But if you give away your authority, you end up with controlling partners, or older lovers who treat you like a child.

Pay attention to how the 7th House qualities you admire become distorted or exaggerated in relationships. Then, consider how these distortions are messages for you. If you keep attracting critical partners, is it possible you’re punishing yourself by getting involved with those who point out your “flaws?” In the case of 7th House Saturn, you need to take responsibility for your role in relationships. What might it feel like to have authority in a partnership? Are you blaming your partner for his or her restrictions? Stop blaming them, and look at why you were attracted to them in the first place.

8th House

8th House energy can draw others to you, whether or not you’re attracted to them. The sign on the cusp, plus any planets in this house, describe those people. This is due to the house’s magnetism, plus 8th House lessons that provide you with direct experience of your limits (so you can move past them). Let’s say you have Aquarius on the 8th House cusp, and Uranus in your 4th House; you may attract those who disrupt your domestic environment. Maybe you grew up in a home that was unstable, so you continually draw in people who shock you. This forces you to look at childhood patterns handling instability, so you can change those patterns. Dealing with these people can trigger reminders of childhood scenarios, where you numbed yourself, rather than deal with the upsetting incident. They may or may not have emphasized Aquarius in their chart, but there will be something disruptive, surprising and (ultimately) clarifying about them. 8th House people get under your skin, for better or worse, making the shock that much greater.

Oppositions

Natal oppositions can be prime ground for projection, especially if they involve relationship planets, or the ruler of the 7th House. For example, a man with Venus in Aries opposite Saturn may end up with a controlling, assertive wife. He’s attracted to pushy women (Venus in Aries) and wants a commitment (Saturn). So far, so good. But if the projection is overdone, he may disown his authority (Saturn) by giving it all to his wife. How much he disowns it can be seen in how controlling his partner is. Also, due to Venus/Saturn’s suggestion of previous denial in matters of the heart, he may settle for a woman who denies him in some way. The question is, what is he afraid of when it comes to love? The controlling partner provides a measure of “safety,” because he doesn’t have to show up (emotionally) — she tells him what to do, and he goes along with the program. What he wants is decided for him.

A woman with a Mars/Pluto opposition may project power and intensity onto men she’s attracted to. She may be drawn to men in positions of power, or men with a dark (possibly dangerous) streak. The intensity of the partner will increase in direct proportion to the lack of awareness of her own power and anger. Mars/Pluto can be a signature of violence. This does not point the finger at her, if she is a victim of domestic abuse.The decision to act out violently is solely in the hands of the perpetrator, and never the victim. But her relationships with/attraction to men who demonstrate Mars/Pluto qualities suggest that the intense energy in her chart has leaked out. It has attracted someone who resonates with power (Pluto) and anger (Mars). If violence is not an issue, another symptom of Mars/Pluto would be her attempts to change her partner. This is an indirect way of exercising Mars/Pluto — by transforming (Pluto) her man (Mars). It’s fine in small doses, but becomes problematic if she tries to make him into someone he’s not. The healthier expression would be to transform her own life, via the houses Mars/Pluto occupy.

Venus

Venus is the planet of attraction, for men and women. You attract people who reflect the sign your Venus is in. Venus in Virgo loves to help. So, you may attract those who demand your services and assistance; selfish lovers, with lives in various degrees of disarray. They emphasize Virgo humbling, as you become a slave to the relationship. If this is the case, you would need to look at how and why you put yourself second, and if you’re trying to distract yourself from your issues by getting involved with romantic fix-it projects. Venus in Taurus values security and stability. When taken to an extreme, you can attract possessive lovers expecting you to conform to their desires and values. The lesson here is to look at how stagnant your life is, and how your values may be keeping you stuck. What your partner tries to restrict is precisely what you need to develop further.

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