Natal Indicators for Absent Parents

Credit: Wavebreakmedia via iStockphoto

In a previous post, I discussed natal planets that described your experience of your parents. In this post, I’m getting more specific and looking at natal indicators for a parent who was literally or metaphorically not there. What’s missing from your life is shown just as clearly as what you have. The Sun and Saturn describe father, and the Moon describes your mother. As in the previous article, the planets and their conditions describe your experience of the situation.

12th House

The 12th House is a hidden area. Natal Sun, Moon or Saturn in the 12th can indicate a parent who was “hidden” from you. This may have been due to their illness, or major secrets about their life. Or, they may not have been there at all. The actual situation is less important than the 12th House quality of the absence. As the house of transcendence (and a blind spot) it can be difficult to clearly see 12th House planets. This is also an impersonal house (transpersonal). Even if the parent in question is still part of your life, you may feel like you cannot get close to them.

Moon in the 12th House might describe a mother who was severely ill. She was unable to provide the emotional nurturing and security you needed. If she spent large amounts of time in the hospital, she would have been hidden from you. Unlike the previous article’s 10th House Moon/Neptune mother (whose illness dominated your life) the 12th House mother’s illness removed her from your life.

In your adult relationships, you may be unaware of your primary needs because they were not fully developed in childhood. But one thing you do need is large amounts of privacy and alone time, because being alone feels familiar. Or, you may associate emotional security with sacrifice and transcendence, and are drawn to helping/healing professions. Too, you may question if any feeling of security is real; maybe it will all be taken away as soon as you become attached. The point is, your relationship with Mom created the experience that emotional connections are not quite real. And, your connection to her (defined by her absence) may be a blind spot that holds some insights about your adult relationships.

To work with a 12th House planet and absent parent, know that the hole in your life can become a doorway to other things. You won’t be able to reclaim what your parent didn’t give you, but that absence has put you in touch with 12th House energies. In your partnerships, and your life in general, you are profoundly sensitive, creative, spiritual and empathetic.

Pluto

While hard aspects from Pluto to the Sun or Moon can indicate a parent whose power dominated your life, it’s more complicated than this. Pluto’s association with death and complete transformation means that before its significant power can be accessed, a tremendous fear of loss must dealt with. Pluto takes away, and there is a threat that can be underlying or overt. This is key to understanding hard aspects from Pluto to the parental planets.

Hard aspects between Sun and Pluto suggest the father’s absence. Again, it can be literal (you never knew him, he abandoned you) or metaphorical (he was there physically but not emotionally). Along with this, there may have been a sense of danger or power battles associated with Dad. Whether or not the threat was real is less important than your perception of the crisis. This would have impacted your ego and conscious will (Sun). In your adult relationships, you battle to manifest yourself as a way of counteracting what was missing and threatened in childhood. On a subconscious level, you’re constantly struggling against the threat of oblivion (death). Hence your tremendous intensity, which is driven by anxiety about loss of power. Partnerships can become battle grounds, as you project the threat onto your lover.

Moon/Pluto works a bit differently, although the sense of crisis is still there. The feeling of trauma is associated with mother. There may have been a threat to your survival while you were in the womb. During childhood, Mom’s emotional or physical loss was mixed with primal survival fears. This may have been a reality, or your perception of a specific incident. The threat of being taken away from Mom (even if she was the one making that threat) created specific emotional survival skills. You develop an intense need for control, and the ability to emotionally amputate. When things get painful in your present day relationships, you clamp down (possessiveness) or amputate (cut off your feelings) as a way of preserving your safety. For a Moon/Pluto person who has not integrated the loss (or threat of loss) involving mother, painful relationship moments have a life or death quality. Meanwhile, your partner is unaware that you are subconsciously battling for your life.

With any hard Pluto aspect, know the power you’re terrified of losing is yours, and can’t be taken away. No matter what your parents did, that initial experience has gifted you with fortitude. If you don’t believe this, consider how others react to your intensity.

Saturn Retrograde

As the planet of authority, natal Saturn most often refers to the father. This sounds sexist, and it is certainly the case with some of you that mother was your primary authority. However, I have found that in the charts of most clients, the condition of natal Saturn (a patriarchal planet) describes the experience of father, unless Saturn is aspecting the Moon.

Natal Saturn retrograde (Rx) suggests the experience of father providing structure and authority has been interrupted. This can happen because Dad was not there, or he was distant. Unlike Pluto scenarios, it may not have been a dramatic issue — maybe work took up all his time. Any Rx planet is intensified. In the case of Saturn Rx, it’s almost as if you’re trying to make up for Dad’s absence by intensifying Saturn’s energy. Fear, limits, rigidity and focus may all be distorted in an attempt to create structure where there was none.

The house position of Saturn Rx will tell you more. In the 7th House, it indicates Dad’s absence has impacted your committed relationships. Maybe you project his absent authority onto your partners. Or, you freeze up and cut yourself off from relationships. If poorly handled, Saturn in the 7th can restrict your view of partnerships, as you trundle along with a commitment to someone you don’t love, or shut down in the face of challenges. Dad’s distance or absence will be a contributing factor, because your view of limits, focus and responsibility is skewed. Once you come to terms with it, the positive potential of Saturn Rx lies in your enhanced awareness of responsibility and commitment.

In any of the above scenarios (12th House, Pluto or Saturn Rx) sextiles and trines to other planets can be helpful in providing solutions. The planet making the harmonious aspect to the parent planet is the workaround or indicator of support from someone else. It’s your ability to cope, or your support system (the other parent, grandparents, siblings, friends, etc). But this doesn’t mean if you have no harmonious aspects, you’re out of luck. Any natal aspect and house position has positive potential.

The post Natal Indicators for Absent Parents appeared first on .

from Natal Indicators for Absent Parents
from Tumblr http://ift.tt/29Ou1zM